It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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