First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
