but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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