Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
