my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
