honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
