I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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