Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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