Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
