There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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