I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
