Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize