I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
