about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
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How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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