We won't sleep together?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize