They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
