What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
