i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
