I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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