He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
