Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
this is an emotional support booty call
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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