I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize