He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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