i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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