woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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