FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
