Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
