After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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