he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
