ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
