As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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