Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
