why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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