Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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