Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
