Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
