She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
