Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
