I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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