every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
