i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
