Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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