just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
