Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
