one might say we're banned from that church
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
