Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
