TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
