Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
