Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
