if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
