bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
