id be glad to
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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