I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
