You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
