you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
