I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
