he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
