shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I am puke
either way he was missing a nipple.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
