yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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