how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
