At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
