At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
