I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
