I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
