Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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