Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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