So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
